Well, I’m home for the first time since my puppy had to be put down. It’s empty, really really empty. Not only is my puppy gone, but no one else is home with me. It’s different and I don’t like it. Even though Moe was never rambunctious, at least I would always hear and know that I wasn’t alone.
I think what makes me want a pet so much is times like this. Even if I have no person to talk to, there’s still someone around.
Anyway, time for lunch and to unpack. (I may be unpacking for days)
It’s not from a lack of trying of course. I was reading off and on, but my homework (of writing) really stopped me from wanting to read it.
Also, the book is kind of odd. It’s structured as two stories written by two eternal 16 year olds as they go through history. There’s a lot of sex and a lot of drugs in it. The book is also written in verse (mostly). It takes a bit to get into, but it’s very quick.
I didn’t REALLY understand most of it, but that’s because I didn’t pay attention as much in the beginning. I’d try to do read it again later, but I’m not sure when.
It’s a book to read, at least once, to get the flavor of an odd writer.
I can’t wait for his next book (he only has House of Leaves and Only Revolutions out).
A lot of people want fame, money, love. Not me. I just want to be happy.
Happiness for me means a lot of different things. I can hope to keep my friends I have gained throughout my college career. I can hope to have a job that makes me proud and not want to kill myself or others. I can hope to continue losing weight and toning my muscle mass. I can hope to not have my joins hurt all the time in my knees. I can hope that my seasonal depression never hits me too hard. I can hope for bright sunny days for the rest of my life, or at least when I need them. I can hope Linkin Park stays together and produces AWESOME music for years.
If nothing else, I can hope to always be with Margaret.
And with that, we’re done with the daily challenge. It honestly hasn’t felt like it’s been a month. I’ve enjoyed the ride, and I plan on continuing this blog in much of the same fashion, but probably every other day (at least then I can think of things to post, and I can make them really good).
Day 29 – In this past month, what have you learned
I feel that this month there hasn’t been much book-smarts gained. I feel that I have learned quite about though.
What I’ve learned about myself in the past month : I LOVE Naruto
I can keep a steady weight without the need to work out
I can grow a pretty fantastic beard
I can write a whole lot and make it really good
I can be unbelievably angry at stupid people
I can’t understand how some people don’t see the good in some things
I love sushi. (LOVE)
I cannot wait for break
I pretty much got a fantastic score in a class that I didn’t really go to
Uhm, well, I don’t own a purse. I DO however own a bookbag. Here is what is in it:
Laptop Case (Usually with my MacBookPro, when I am not using it to type things like this)
1: 5-Subject notebook for all my classes
1: 3 Subject notebook for a writing notebook for my Creative Writing class
2: Green folders with various forms for graduation
2: Green cardboard side folder things to hold papers for my Creative Writing class
College Ruled Paper
Glasses case (Sometimes)
Pledge book from the semester I joined my fraternity
I’ll have to say my worst habit is my procrastination.
I have so much time between when I begin some of my writing to when I have to hand it in, that I decide “Oh, I’ll do it tomorrow night.” Tomorrow night turns into next week. Next week becomes a fortnight. A fortnight becomes the night before it’s due.
The biggest problems with this is that I still get really good grades. If I happened to get lower scores because of last minute prep, I would probably have curved it a long time ago. Normally, I get above average grades for my writing assignments so I don’t feel the need to ever do anything early.
I wasn’t planning on doing any of my work until Sunday night.
I’ve done most of it now
I wasn’t planning on adding too much to one of my revisions.
I added 1000 words of description, inner monologue, and dialogue
I’m a writer for sure. I have tweaked one of my final essays for a Creative Writing course so many times, but I’m sure I’ll have to do it once more before the semester is over. Honestly, I’m okay with this. I don’t know why, I just love it.
I took a 1,400 word essay and turned it into a 2,400 one. I didn’t add any extra plot or tone. Everything I added was description (rooms, movements, features), inner monologue (what I was thinking at the time), dialogue (phone conversations that happened) - and I was OKAY with it. I LOVED it. Lock me up and throw away the key.
Well, I’m on the 4th essay for the class that I need to polish. I ended up throwing it all away except for one idea : Being in a fraternity allowed me to define myself properly
I’ve begun the paper like this :
Jared. Pronoun. The name of the person sitting at the desk behind a MacBook Pro. He is currently sitting in a beige colored room filled with toys and nicknacks. He shivers in his wheeled desk chair because the heat is not on and there seems to be a gap in his window. His room is being filled with warming natural light by the rising sun through the breezy window.
He is wearing a fairly new, fairly stiff pair of blue jeans with his favorite pair of slip-on black and plaid sneakers. Flannel is covering the top of him so that he can stay warm this morning. To accentuate the lumberjack look, he has made sure to grow a beard for the last month. It has come in fairly thick, and very red. The red is a deep contrast to the brown of his hair, only inches above. Although the beard is different, it gives a round nature to his face. It’s warming; relaxing; inviting. Rectangular glasses with no bottoms rest atop his schnoz, but below his massive, curvy eyebrows.
Momentarily moving from the keyboard, he wipes his slightly running nose with his right hand so it doesn’t go down into his mustache. One ring adorns each nimble hand as they race around the keyboard.
His right ring finger is encompassed by a 14karat gold ring that begins as a thin band near the palm to a ring double the size at the top. The ring is engraved on each side with a differing symbol and letter set. The side nearest the writer is a symbol of some bowling pins being knocked down ferociously by a bowling ball. The word “Jared” lies atop this side. The side away from the writer holds a symbol of a line of snare drums. Above the drums lies a “2007.” In an oval around the top of the ring, the words “Canastota High School” are engraved. Finally, the ring master secures the paramount spot; a shining aquamarine stone, cut into a sunburst pattern glistens as the sun reflects through it.
The left ring finger, however, holds a much more important treasure to this “Jared.” A simple black band with steel cable inlays is on this finger. The black band meets at one point on the ring, but for the rest, it is on the side of the two metal cables. This ring symbolizes his engagement. This “Jared” is betrothed.
He rocks his head back and forth to a beat. An odd mixture of industrial sounds and familiar, human tones fills the chilly room around him. It moves him somehow, the juxtaposition of a high tempo with very staccato notes. As soon as the song comes, it’s gone, replaced by something new. But that’s life. That’s what this person tries to look at and tries to make sense of. He is a writer after all.
Sometimes I wonder : How have I come to define myself in such a way?
That’s what I have for now. Should be done with the first draft within the next hour or two. I’ll probably revise it once before getting outside attention, just so I have something substantial.
Currently, I live in a fraternity house just outside of RPI’s campus RPI is in Troy NY Troy is near Albany
My home is in Canastota NY Canastota is near Syracuse
My home in Stota is very nice. My father and I spent all of my high school career building it (mostly alone). It was a great experience that I never wish to have again. I learned a lot of useful skills from the job so that I may go and maintain a home when I get the money to own one.
The house is seated on the front part of a 5 acre lot. Halfway back in the property is a little stream that breaks up the monotony. From the stream back is a field where my parents grow some crops (pumpkins, corn, potatoes) and enjoy a roaring fire. Trees line the back to add a great woodsy feel, it’s definitely my favorite part of the property.
I don’t have really much else to say on the matter, I could go into detail about the house and what I had to do for it, but I feel I can leave that for another time.
This man is fantastic at making beats that will melt your brain, and heart. I found his music after searching Youtube and finding “Alice,” a trippy, drug induced mix from Alice in Wonderland.
How does he do it? Sounds and Syllables. He takes sounds and syllables from Disney and other movies, and adds a bass line to create amazing works of ear-art. I highly recommend a listen on a good sound system or your favorite pair of headphones.
Songs to Listen to Immediately :
Gardyn Toyz Noise Upular Alice Scrumdiddlyumptious Expialidocious
PS : I am not being payed in any way to say these things, I just really REALLY love his work.
Now, I know it’s not a sad song, but I always tear up when I hear/sing it. To me, it’s a somber melody with a cheerful outlook to the future. It’s how I feel right now.
I’m depressed because Moe is gone and I will never get to see him again, but I’m reminded of all the time and love we shared, and I’m glad that I at least had that. I cannot wait to see what will come to me in this journey we call life.
Hoping for more love and the well-being of my family in this sad time, ~Jared~
I would be lying if I said I cook. Of course, I would be lying if I said I didn’t.
Here’s the skinny : I like to cook, but only for one to two people.
Being in a fraternity, I have to cook dinner, weekly, for the house. It is a hectic time for me; for some reason my anxiety runs high during the cooking time. I don’t know why it happens, but I have a problem being on a schedule while cooking. If I cook for myself and maybe 2 other people, I feel more free. I don’t feel I have to finish by a certain time.
That doesn’t mean that I become a good cook when I do it for myself though.
A large reason I have a problem with cooking is because it’s not an exact science. I feel I can never repeat something that was good once. I try as hard as I can, but I can never become a master chef.
This one time, back in Home Ec (It was in Middle School maybe), I fucked up snickerdoodles.
SNICKER. FUCKING. DOODLES.
Don’t ask me how. All I know is that I followed the recipe, and they came out of the oven completely balled and hard. Little tasty burnt balls. Shit that sounded wrong. Anyway…
After that, I didn’t really touch a stove or an oven until I came to college. At this time, I was forced to cook. I really didn’t like it at all, and I still don’t, but after working a summer in a kitchen, I have become better. I don’t ALWAYS get the anxiety anymore, and I can recreate some things I have become good at (Reuben Sandwiches), but I still find it difficult to learn or do anything on my own. I can never command a kitchen because I am terrible at thinking of what I want to eat, let alone 40 others!
I have found a fantastic website though, one that suits my vocabulary and love for food: